People Who Do Things exceed my endurance; God, for a man that solicits insurance!

Of course I talk to myself. I like a good speaker, and I appreciate an intelligent audience.

The first thing I do in the morning is brush my teeth and sharpen my tongue.

The only dependable law of life - everything is always worse than you thought it was going to be.

Creativity is a wild mind and a disciplined eye.

I like to have a martini/Two at the very most/After three I'm under the table/After four I'm under my host.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.

Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses.

If you want to know what God thinks about money, just look at the people He gives it to.

Never throw mud: you can miss the target, but your hands will remain dirty.

Years are only garments, and you either wear them with style all your life, or else you go dowdy to the grave.

Marriage is long enough to have plenty of room for time behind it.

Diversity is wisdom.

We choose to live life to the fullest because it is in our best interest to do so. - Charmainism

Decide in your heart to be at peace with all men.

I've sung other people's music all my life.

The future never comes. Life is always now.

Music is the weapon. Music is the weapon of the future.

You should never be comfortable, man. Being comfortable fouled up a lot of musicians.

I should have been an abortion. The only reason I wasn't was that my father was a Christian.

I will pursue my passion of cooking every day until my hands fall off and I lose all sense of smell and taste.