People always are encouraging about a terrible loss, so that sometimes the loser would like to strangle them.

Welcome to Lake Wobegon, where all the women are strong, all the men are good-looking, and all the children are above average.

Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.

It was luxuries like air conditioning that brought down the Roman Empire. With air conditioning their windows were shut, they couldn't hear the barbarians coming.

Even in a time of elephantine vanity and greed, one never has to look far to see the campfires of gentle people.

A lovely thing about Christmas is that it's compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.

Thank you, God, for this good life and forgive us if we do not love it enough.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.

Be well, do good work, and keep in touch.

Sometimes there is nothing you can do, and in those times, you must do something anyway.

Beauty isn't worth thinking about; what's important is your mind. You don't want a fifty-dollar haircut on a fifty-cent head. ~Garrison Keillor

Alford was going to start this fast the same way he had started everything else, alone and uncertain

You're lucky. You're getting this over with now. You only fall in love for the first time once.""That's very Taylor Swift of you, " I say.

Believe nothing and be on your guard against everything.

Music is God's gift to man, the only art of Heaven given to earth, the only art of earth we take to Heaven.

My mother wanted me to be friends only with children she considered socially suitable.

The world will never be converted to God unitl Christians cry less and laugh and sing more.

I'm his locomotive and he's my shield.

I do kind of transcend the song and give it a different meaning.

I have been a huge fan of America, as I find their way of life there is pretty unique, and I have enjoyed a lot of good times over there.

Threats are the last resort of a man with no vocabulary.