People always think something's all true.

It's funny. All you have to do is say something nobody understands and they'll do practically anything you want them to.

I am always saying "Glad to've met you" to somebody I'm not at all glad I met. If you want to stay alive, you have to say that stuff, though.

And I have one of those very loud, stupid laughs. I mean if I ever sat behind myself in a movie or something, I'd probably lean over and tell myself to please shut up.

The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one.

You can't stop a teacher when they want to do something. They just do it.

The more expensive a school is, the more crooks it has — I'm not kidding.

Grand. There's a word I really hate. It's a phony. I could puke every time I hear it.

Mothers are all slightly insane.

I'd just be the catcher in the rye and all. I know it's crazy, but that's the only thing I'd really like to be. I know it's crazy.

Certain things, they should stay the way they are. You ought to be able to stick them in one of those big glass cases and just leave them alone.

Are you on crack? Or did I take a righteous bong hit before coming here?

You never get rid of something that has a positive foundation.

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter.

Our prayers are the shadows of mercy.

We all have a right to know, and if the government has been suppressing information about other life forms, that's the cruelest hoax of all.

I hope the fact-checkers are turning up the volume and really working hard. Donald [Trump] supported the invasion of Iraq.

Perseverance is king.

it's a reminder of one of the greatest lessons of all: live as if you'll live forever, but live each day as if it were your last.

I love the absurd - kind of absurdist comedy, absurd things in life.

I'm going to tell you a secret. Our lives are shaped by the future, not by the past. Once you decide how you want your life to be, all you need to do is live into that future.