People are disappointed that you aren't exactly who they thought you were, as opposed to somebody who's just walking around trying to get some laundry done.

Racism isn't born, folks, it's taught. I have a two-year-old son. You know what he hates? Naps! End of list.

I think we should take Iraq and Iran and combine them into one country and call it Irate. All the pissed off people live in one place and get it over with.

Life Sucks,get a helmet

You know why the French hate us so much? Thay gave us the croissant. And you know what we did with it? We turned it into our croissandwich, thank you very much.

Why hate someone for the color of their skin when there are much better reasons to hate them?

Crisis doesn't create character; it reveals it.

Ann Romney talking about middle class moms is like Chris Christie talking about a salad

There we were in the middle of a sexual revolution wearing clothes that guaranteed we wouldn't get laid.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

What firefighters, and people in our military and cops do is separate from what the rest of us do, basically these people say "I'm going to protect all these strangers."

Embracing personal vulnerability is required if you wish to work, play and succeed in the future.

May your mind be thoroughly impressed with the absolute necessity of universal virtue and goodness, as the only sure road to happiness, and may you walk therein with undeviating steps.

There is nobody like him in the world. There is - and always will be - one Jim Rohn.

I am not a long-run actor. I admire actors who can do that.

Keep your treasure to yourself.

We have the men--the skill--the wealth--and above all, the will.... We must be the great arsenal of democracy.

He is a fool who only sees the mischiefs that are past.

Solitude: a sweet absence of looks.

When you have confidence, you can do anything.

...after a night spent writing poetry, one is almost happy to hear the milkman at the door.