People are saying that I'm an alcoholic, and that's not true, because I only drink when I work, and I'm a workaholic.

If life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. And try to find somebody who's life gives them vodka, and have a party.

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take, or a class you can go to.

You can't fix stupid.

I had the right to remain silent... but I didn't have the ability.

I believe that a bad Super Bowl halftime show is still better than a soccer game.

I did not climb to the top of the food chain to eat carrots.

In Texas, we have the death penalty, and we use it. That's right. If you come to Texas and kill somebody, we will kill you back.

The next time you have a thought... let it go.

Diamonds - that'll shut her up... for a minute!

A dead heart is a dead life

Maybe they should name more drugs cute things. I don't do meth, but maybe if they called meth 'Stefanie' I would!

There's nothing I'd really rather do, or can do, except cook.

Cause I swear that I'm dying, slowly but its happening.

The trouble with happiness is that it never notices itself.

If we are more affected by the ruin of a palace than by the conflagration of a cottage, our humanity must have formed a very erroneous estimate of the miseries of human life.

Moderation sees itself as beautiful; it is unaware that in the eye of the immoderate it appears black and sober and consequently ugly-looking.

One should not kill a living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite another to kill. Do not injure any being, either strong or weak, in the world.

When great assurance accompanies a bad undertaking, such is often mistaken for confiding sincerity by the world at large.

I'm not a party person or someone who likes to sit and drink in clubs all night, and never really have been. I have a good time through work.