People are the same wherever you go. And if they weren't, they wouldn't laugh at the same s**t.

There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look for movies with white guys falling out of them.

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can all sell drugs. Being a pimp is a whole other thing.

So, to say Barack Obama is progress is saying that he's the first black person that is qualified to be president. That's not black progress. That's white progress.

Wealth is not about having a lot of money; it's about having a lot of options.

The advantage that my children have is that my children are encountering the nicest white people that America has ever produced. Let’s hope America keeps producing nicer white people.

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

Most people don't realize this, but you can eat organic, all natural, gluten-free food without telling everyone around you.

Smart is knowing if you're dumb. Knowing when to shut up and to listen to people that are smarter than you.

You know the world is messed up when the tallest man in the NBA is Chinese, the best golfer is black, and the best rapper is white.

The least we each ought to do for someone who treats us like a king or a queen is to treat them like a prince or a princess.

Jewish vampires: Garlic? As a weapon? No its a spice silly human

Respond with love even when someone wants to hurt you.

I have a soft spot for musicians. If a man could ride this roller coaster with me and come out alive, then I guess we'd deserve each other's company.

I've done one movie. And it's not a movie I want to stand on as far as acting ability goes. I mean, I'm not going to win an Oscar anytime soon. I'm not Meryl Streep.

As long as we're in a democracy, I have to give what I think the majority of people will enjoy.

Every once in a while, someone will mail me a single popcorn kernel that didn't pop. I'll get out a fresh kernel, tape it to a piece of paper and mail it back to them.

I've seen UFOs, and Loch Ness - I've been to Loch Ness a few times looking for Nessie, and that's also a beautiful place to be.

Happy to me is not what I thought happy was. Happy is actually better, because it includes room for sadness. A definition of success must leave room for failure, because it's part of it.

Hillary Clinton has held vast dreams. She was inspired at a young age that society does well when women and children do.