People ask me how come you've been around so long. Well, it's through playing the part of Mr Average Joe American.

In Westerns you were permitted to kiss your horse but never your girl.

One nice thing about silence is that it can't be repeated.

One man who saw through his own eyes and thought with his own brain. Such men may be rare, they may be unknown, but they move the world.

The only achievement I am really proud of is the friends I have made in this community.

No mistake, I shall regret the absence of your keen mind; unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body.

Having to work hard never had any real appeal for me, and that may have some connection with me being in the movies.

People all say that I've had a bad break. But today... today I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.

Until I came along all the leading men were handsome, but luckily they wrote a lot of stories about the fellow next door.

I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and not Gary Cooper.

There ain't never a horse that never been rode; there ain't never a rider that can't be thrown.

The physical shock took away the pain of being.

There are three things which the public will always clamor for sooner or later: namely novelty novelty novelty.

A pitfall of making a comedy with a studio-and it's also an American cultural thing-is that I get tired of being encouraged to go always for laughs.

Pride works from within; it is the direct appreciation of oneself.

Wait not while your foe fits arrow to bowstring when you can send your own arrow into him.

...God leads you to it and takes you through it.

I don't think at my age... you can start ruling people out in politics.

It's always awkward when someone doesn't realize you're joking and devotes thought time to what you've said. Double that when the person is wearing tinfoil.

A satirist is someone who has a very skeptical view of human nature, but who still has the optimism to make some sort of a joke out of it. However brutal that joke might be.

It is with deep grief I watch the clattering down of the British Empire with all its glories and all the services it has rendered to mankind.