People ask me what I'd most appreciate getting for my eighty-seventh birthday. I tell them, a paternity suit.

I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love than to be a success at something you hate.

You know you're getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there.

There's an old saying, 'Life begins at forty.' That's silly. Life begins every morning you wake up.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy driving taxicabs and cutting hair.

I look to the future because that's where I'm going to spend the rest of my life.

It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or the fourteenth.

I love to sing, and I love to drink scotch. Most people would rather hear me drink scotch.

I get up every morning and read the obituary column. If my name's not there, I eat breakfast.

We have to allow ourselves to feel it in order to heal it.

He heard her low accord, Half prayer and half ditty, And He felt a subtle quiver, That was not heavenly love, Or pity.This is not writIn any book.

To find the nectar of life, let me get lost in the mysteries and beauties of the imagination.

If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.

My solo album is dead and buried. We had the funeral. It was sad and I cried a lot but it made such a beautiful corpse that we had an open casket.

It is possible to get an education at a university. It has been done; not often.

Playing sick. That is so hard to do. It has to be a total mental challenge, as well as the physical challenge.

People's feelings get hurt when they figure out what I'm worth.

I shoot a lot of video, first of all, whatever I think is interesting, just my travels; hard to say why. If something looks good, I take a picture or try to shoot it.

Grilled salmon and brown pasta works for me every time.