People come up to me... concerned... that I'll reproduce.

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me.

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I was the kid next door's imaginary friend.

My classmates would copulate with anything that moved, but I never saw any reason to limit myself.

My girlfriend told me that she was seeing another man. I told her to rub her eyes.

I was in a bar the other night, hopping from barstool to barstool, trying to get lucky, but there wasn't any gum under any of them.

I've learned that you can't make someone love you. All you can do is stalk them and hope they'll panic and give in.

People come up to me and say, 'Emo, do people really come up to you?'

But if they have a flashlight, it means they're human and not some kind of monsters from the surface, ' objected Artyom."I don't know what's worse, " said Melnik, cutting off Artyom.

CONTROL MYSELF?!! I'm a MONSTER! Monsters don't control themselves! That's the whole IDEA!

The beauty seen is partly in him who sees it. [a predisposition to notice the beautiful, in everything.]

Earth was not built for six billion people all running around and being passionate about things. The world was built for about two million people foraging for roots and grubs.

I'm not much like myself any more.

My songs, they have just the one chord, there's none of that fancy stuff you hear now, with lots of chords in one song. If I find another chord I leave it for another song.

I wasn't raised to be into promoting myself.

One must from time to time attempt things that are beyond one's capacity.

The nine most terrifying words in the English language are "I'm from the government, and I'm here to help."

Hamlet: Is this a prologue, or the posy of a ring? Ophelia: 'Tis brief, my lord. Hamlet: As woman's love.