People compared Garden State to the Graduate, but when was the last time you saw Dustin Hoffman doing what I do?

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

I found myself, lost inside the depths of my darkest days amazed to find the most of you watching me hoping i’d stay.

The most positive men are the most credulous.

Like the Bible tells us, when a man will lay down his life for a friend, well, then there ain't no greater love in this here world than that.

The secret of the Christian's passion is simple: Everything we do in life we do it as to the Lord and not to men.

Fooles bite one another, but wise-men agree together.

A forest is mystery but the desert is truth. Life pared to the bone.

I'm strong and I can do things that scare me. I can drive in the snow even though it terrifies me. I'm doing it all alone, I don't have a boyfriend, it was like, "I can do this."

A mother becomes a true grandmother the day she stops noticing the terrible things her children do because she is so enchanted with the wonderful things her grandchildren do.

When you hold back the successful, you penalize those who need help.

My emotional life: dialectic between craving for privacy and need to submerge myself in a passionate relationship to another.