People did not even then like to eat dirt, if they could see it.

The time will come when people will travel in stages moved by steam engines from one city to another, almost as fast as birds can fly, 15 or 20 miles an hour….

It frequently happens that two persons, reasoning right on a mechanical subject, think alike and invent the same thing without any communication with each other.

The healing power of charity, bestowed by our Father and made possible by the Atonement of Jesus Christ, can make it virtually impossible for us even to feel emotions common to the natural man.

As far as just my stand-up is concerned, I don't care about changing anyone's mind. I'm not making an argument. I'm a guy doing comedy.

[Statistics] Fiction in its most uninteresting form.

The fact that somebody's telling you a story about people who didn't exist doesn't make the experience of the story any less real in your heart and mind.

I was extremely unpopular at school. Once the hardest kid in school beat me up and there was a plan for about 30 other kids to kick me in the face once I was down. Good times!

Whatever you're working on, take small bites. The task will not be overwhelming if you can reduce it to its smallest component.

If I should die, think only this of me: that there's some corner of a foreign field that is for ever England.

Find people who love you unconditionally, surround yourself with them, and bring them the same level of intensity.

It is not enough for a landscape to be interesting in itself. Eventually there must be a moral and historic interest.

Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic.