People don't alter history any more than birds alter the sky, they just make brief patterns in it.

There's a saying that all roads lead to Ankh-Morpork. And it's wrong. All roads lead away from Ankh-Morpork, but sometimes people just walk along them the wrong way.

The worst thing you can do is nothing.

There are times in life when people must know when not to let go. Balloons are designed to teach small children this.

Rincewind had always been happy to think of himself as a racist. The One Hundred Meters, the Mile, the Marathon -- he'd run them all.

Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.

Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant ‘idiot.

...and the funny thing was that people who weren't entirely certain they were right always argued much louder than other people, as if the main person they were trying to convince were themselves.

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.

I have, before now, waited for a pen to perform a macro.

You never knew about people, like you never knew how deep a pond was because all you saw was the top.

I wondered when I had forgotten that, despite everything, he was still just a child.

I've spent a bit of time with the Prince of Wales, who I respect greatly. I'd give two cheers for the Monarchy.

Im very clear that everyone in the world loves me. I just dont expect them to realize it yet.

The largest living land mammal is the absent mind.

Still when I lost her, I lost sight of any landmark that might have led me someplace happier, to some more populated or congenial life.

Greatness is in the preparation, not in the performance.

Lenny Breau had the ability to reach into your heart.

Each time one of the medicine men dies, it's as if a library has burned down.

I really believe that professional wrestlers are not protected. I think everybody gets a big kick out of watching them and whether the wrestling is real or not, people love watching it.

The point of revenge is not in the completion but in the process.