People either hate me or dislike me - but I realized that people aren't against you, they are for themselves. We're all prejudiced in favor of ourselves.

Being well-dressed gives a feeling of inward tranquility which psychoanalysis is powerless to bestow.

Unhappiness lies in that gap between our talents and our expectations.

A woman is supposed to have curves like an old Bentley, not like some old bike.

Self-pity is the most destructive of all narcotics.

I am not an intellectual. An intellectual is someone who looks at a sausage and thinks of Picasso, whereas I just say 'pass the mustard'.

The problem I've got is that I really, really like drugs. I love everything about them. It is horrific being sober all the time-utterly awful.

One of the many troubles of growing older is that it gets progressively harder to find a famous historical figure who hadn't yet amounted to anything by the time he was your age.

People are obsessed by happiness, but there are a lot of other invigorating experiences available.

But really death seems the least awful thing that can happen to someone

To be worthy of assassination takes more than some crappy little book.

Even a flower can feel the touch of kindness.

Hence, viper thoughts, that coil around my mind, Reality's dark dream! I turn from you, and listen to the wind.

There's nothing like going on with a thing.

If you wish to help someone, give secretly and avoid arrogance.

As the language of the face is universal, so 'tis very comprehensive; no laconism can reach it: 'Tis the short hand of the mind, and crowds a great deal in a little room

The GOP needs to figure out a way to become more appealing to new constituencies.

Man is always marveling at what he has blown apart, never at what the universe has put together, and this is his limitation.

...although I had to admit a certain affection for the Mattel booth advertising Urban Survival Barbie, now with her own Machete and blood testing unit.

I think my heartbeat might be the Morse code for ‘inappropriate.’

We even make ourselves up, fusing what we are with what we wish into what we must become. I'm not sure why it must be so, but it is.