People look at me, and they go, 'You're white, you're smart, you must have went to college. You must have grown up with money.'

Of course on air I use occasional hyperbole to tell a story.

You don't cruise the Internet looking for your name and walk away with a good feeling. So, I never do it.

If you want to have a good life, you should focus on your family, on your business, on your dog, on your fun, and you'll have a good life.

Don’t do your best, do my best.

I feel like I'm a time traveler from the future who has been sent back to be annoyed.

Asking someone in advance not judge you, is like asking someone in advance not to smell you.

No one is depressed when they're being chased by a bear.

I like the freedom of podcasting. With podcasting you can really mess around with the form and the format. You can do as much time as you like without having to pause for commercials.

You shouldn't be eating anything that takes six minutes to microwave.

If the media isnt slanted toward the Left, why is everyone so worried about my affiliation with Glenn Beck but not with Alec Baldwin?

The loneliest thing in the world is lying awake beside someone asleep. ~ "The November Story

Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives.

I hope you don't get known for nothing crazy, cause no man ever wants to hear those stories bout his lady.

One has to spend many years in learning how to be happy.

If one didn't have love, was it better, then, to be alone?

Without vision, even the most focused passion is a battery without a device.

It’s not that I’ve been dishonest, it’s just that I loathe reality.

Don't let the secret recipe die with the inventor.

cruelty is the only thing that strikes me as completely unforgivable. The unpardonable sin.

To know, to think, to dream. That is everything.