People make fools out of themselves in all sorts of ways. No particular qualifications or particular criteria are necessary.

Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money.

Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe.

My grandfather always said, Don't watch your money, watch your health. So one day while I was watching my health, someone stole my money. It was my grandfather.

Ladies and gentlemen, you can't please everyone. Take my girlfriend - I think she's the most remarkable woman in the world. . . . That's me . . . But to my wife . . .

It's no longer a question of staying healthy. It's a question of finding a sickness you like.

Blacks can get into medical school with a lower grade ... If that's true, a Jew should be able to play basketball with a lower net.

I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.

On the murder of New York deli owner Abe Lebewohl: It's almost like wiping out Carnegie Hall. A sandwich to a Jew is just as important as a country to a Gentile.

My father was a very successful businessman, but he was ruined in the stock market crash. A big stockbroker jumped out the window and fell on his pushcart.

America is the only country in the world where you can burn the flag but can't tear the tag off the mattress.

If people in general could be got into the woods, even for once, to hear the trees speak for themselves, all difficulties in the way of forest preservation would vanish.

We can only hope to live a meaningful life by serving as earnest witnesses to life’s tragic beauty.

I love going to writers' colonies in pastoral settings where there's nothing to do, but either walk around or read a book or work on your book.

His books are kept on freestanding shelves hung at different angles on a sea-green wall. They defy gravity, as good books should.

Nature has neither core nor skin: she’s both at once outside and in.

I don't think of the ashram world as being any more spiritual than the corporate world.

God made mud, God made dirt, God made boys so girls could flirt.

The best people know that they should join a rocketship.

I have a thing for tools.