People often ask me how I make things funny. I don't make things funny.

At the risk of appearing disingenuous, I don't really think of myself as 'writing humor.' I'm simply reporting on the world I observe, which is frequently hilarious.

And there comes a time in your life when you realize that if you don't take the opportunity to be happy, you may never get another chance again.

People sometimes get in the habit of being loyal to a mistake.

You use simple brushstrokes in a screenplay for things over which you would take much greater pains in a novel.

Have you ever noticed that when people use the expression 'I have to say', what follows usually needn't be said?

What if all everybody needed in the world was to be sure of one friend? What if you were the one, and you refused to say those simple words?

My books are elegiac in the sense that they're odes to a nation that even I sometimes think may not exist anymore except in my memory and my imagination.

Worse, I have to admit to feeling the jealousy of one crab for another that has managed to climb out of the barrel.

Bookstores, like libraries, are the physical manifestation of the wide world's longest, most thrilling conversation.

I was the one who did come through that door. You were the one she was waiting for.

A praying mother is more precious and valuable than all the riches in the world.

After school I tell Kate that, as much fun as it sounds, I can't go check out the cup stacking team.

I always wondered why god has not given us wings ... it has given us Will instead .. fly or not not to fly.. its up to us

I’m probably just as good a mother as the next repressed, obsessive-compulsive paranoiac.

If you've ever hauled a 28-pound two-year-old around New York, you'll find that men fold at the knees a lot quicker than women.

There are definitely worse people to be compared with. I think Brad Pitt makes interesting decisions.

Participating in the newest communications technologies becomes compulsory if you want to remain part of the culture.

That wine drinking is more effete than beer drinking? No question.

Lovers communicate not inside sentences, but between them. Passion lurks within interstice. It is grouting rather than bricks.

It takes a strong man to accept somebody else's children and step up to the plate another man left on the table.