People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don't stare at it, it's too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.

These pretzels are making me thirsty!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

So let me get this straight. You find yourself in the kitchen. You see an éclair in the receptacle... and you think to yourself: "What the hell, I'll just eat some trash."

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top for it.

Keep your head up in failure and your head down in success.

Airline hostesses show you how to use a seatbelt in case you haven't been in a car since 1965.

Only the people who are born of God can become victors and overcomers in this evil world

One of the most subversive institutions in the United States is the public library.

my life has been saved over and over again by picking up a book in which someone captured the whole experience of being despised and not dying.

Moral certainty can deafen people to any truth other than their own.

I have never met an aggressive person who wasn’t a fearful person.

That divide between the rich and poor is so crazy, because even white kids are suffering now.

You know your the best when people you don't know hate you.

Energy may be likened to the bending of a crossbow; decision, to the releasing of a trigger.

You’re the greatest risk I’ve ever taken.” His pressed his lips gently to mine. “And the greatest reward.

This body of ours has one fault: the more you indulge it, the more things it discovers to be essential to it. It is extraordinary how it likes being indulged.