People only call you 'my dear' when they are irritated with you.

A lawyer is never entirely comfortable with a friendly divorce, anymore than a good mortician wants to finish his job and then have the patient sit up on the table.

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being skin deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left.

The real menace in dealing with a five-year-old is that in no time at all you begin to sound like a five-year-old.

If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs, it's just possible you haven't grasped the situation.

I was always the last woman on the last down elevator as the store was closing.

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house.

Do you know how helpless you feel if you have a full cup of coffee in your hand and you start to sneeze?

I feel about airplanes the way I feel about diets. It seems to me that they are wonderful things for other people to go on.

Some enterprising youth should go from door to door on Christmas morning peddling batteries.

I have learned from my mistakes, and I am sure I can repeat them exactly

I would certainly use my voice to try and avoid anything that undermines confidence, so that parents are using vaccines fully.

Difficulty attracts the characterful man, for it is by grasping it that he fulfils himself.

I could point out that it isn't always easy knowing who you are and what you want, because then you have no excuse for not trying to get it.

A man's got to keep company a long time, and come early and stay late and sit close, before he can get a girl or a job worth having.

The doctrine that the cure for the evils of democracy is more democracy is like saying that the cure of crime is more crime.

I don't exercise. I'm skinny-fat. I worry about being too skinny.

I went through every phone book in Africa, and I didn't find one god damned Pryor!

My first big heartbreak proved to me that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

But I will be, A bridegroom in my death, and run into't As to a lover's bed.