People push my buttons, so I'm going to react.

A Muslim allowed a topless Jew to sit on his camel. And we say we can't live side by side? I say we try and we can and we will. And you don't even have to be topless. L'chaim.

We usually have margaritas on Thursdays but since it's Tuesday I'll make an exception.

Even if times are tough and you're enduring a terrible heartache, it's important to focus your anger on a vibrator, not another person.

Laugh loudly, laugh often, and most important, laugh at yourself.

I can't be skinny all the time. I like to drink and I like to eat. I like burgers and bagels.

I think we can all agree that sleeping around is a great way to meet people.

I'm very much about letting other people shine, because it makes us all shine brighter.

You do not OWN a dog. You HAVE a dog. And the dog HAS YOU

There are no warning signs on the trampoline. The warning is the trampoline.

I don't like the word 'alcoholic'. I like to think of myself as an advanced drinker.

We are the next us.

Only internal bliss is perpetual, nothing else is created to last. That's why God lives within us and all storms pass

Entrepreneur is just French for 'has ideas, does them'.

We get these questions a lot from the enterprising young. It's a very intelligent question: You look at some old guy who's rich and you ask, 'How can I become like you, except faster?'

I support equality. Everyone should feel free to live out the parts of their personality that correspond to the classic male or female image.

I can be a part of everything. Every movement.

When you love what you do, it pays off, and that's the best reward you could have.

The process of writing, any form of creativity, is a power intensifying life.

Trade your cleverness for bewilderment.

Some kinds of baseness are nobly undergone.