People's - most people's job is talking about the future or like money not even in the present tense. It's not even paper.

I think Helen of Troy must have been pretty hot. She got two countries going crazy for 10 years over her.

You can’t make everybody laugh. You gotta just do what you think is funny. Just be obstreperous to everybody.

I know nowadays the common wisdom is to celebrate diversity as long as you don't point out that people are different.

I'm just another guy who thinks he's smarter than he is, in a long line of them.

The ancient Greeks were the first ones to say an unexamined life is not worth living. They don't tell you of course what we found out, an examined life not that fascinating either.

The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand.

Twitter is one of those dangerous toys that if it gets in the hands of the wrong person you'll have the mind of a 12-year-old masquerading as an adult.

So instead of talking about theoretical ways of ending the war and violence, I say that we have to get rid of the individual asholes in each office and situation.

People say history is boring, and that is true because people are boring. We haven't changed since time began. We're still the same.

I get the impression the English kings were witty, for some reason. I feel like all you had was your wit.

If supernatural aspect of the assignment is lost then the natural aspect manifests

Time is the arbitrary division of eternity.

We'll be back to our nature documentary, 'Baggy the Anorexic Elephant' in just a second.

You have to have a strong sense of your values and a strong sense of who you are, because there are a lot of events and a lot of people who will pull you in this direction or that direction.

Being dead was one thing, getting ready for a wedding another.

I like people who love books and movies and art and want to talk about it all the time, because that's basically what I want to talk about. Intellectuals that are funny.

Liberty is a slow fruit.

It is not enough to simply "do your best". You must strive for perfection.

When you feel gloomy, think what has been done within the last year. How, rising from nothing.

My hair has become part of my identity; it's almost an appendage to me.