People say after a fire it's water damage that's the worst. We're still drying out Windsor Castle.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

If I were reincarnated I would wish to be returned to Earth as a killer virus to lower human population levels.

During the Blitz, a lot of shops had their windows blown in and put up notices saying, 'More open than usual'. I now declare this place more open than usual.

Cannibalism is a radical but realistic solution to the problem of overpopulation.

How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to pass the test?

People think there's a rigid class system here, but dukes have been known to marry chorus girls. Some have even married Americans.

I would like to go to Russia very much — although the bastards murdered half my family.

You're just a silly little Whitehall twit: you don't trust me and I don't trust you.

The bastards murdered half my family.

In the event that I am reincarnated, I would like to return as a deadly virus, in order to contribute something to solve overpopulation.

No one escape death!

Never give in to peer pressure, especially if the peer is not attractive.

It's true that I love to connect with my fans on the social networking sites, but I try not to go overboard, ever. I just give people a peek into my mind space, but never bombard them with my tweets.

A metaphorical weight lifted from his allegorical chest and Artemis Fowl felt himself again.

I don't think I know anyone who has a steady job in Montreal.

I loved being outside. We'd hold lightning bugs in our fingers and pretend they were diamond rings.

... three main components of leadership: mastery of the subject-matter, ability convincingly to articulate the particular course of action required and a fervent belief in its correctness.

It's the responsibility of men of religion to... present religion as a way of tolerance, not as a cover for bloodshed.

Technical perfection is insufficient. It is an orphan without the true soul of the dancer.