People that say I'm really sensitive rarely are.

If I do marry, I'll expect a pretty serious dowry. I'm talking goats, pigs, chickens, the works.

Life is what you make of it, unless you have tourette's, in which case much becomes involuntary.

If space suits looked less like marshmallows, I'd be more interested in going to the moon.

Cupcakes are the tattooed brunette chick of the baked goods world.

Love is a crocodile just above the water line waiting to attack the innocent herbivore of my freedom.

Met someone who works at the zoo. Apparently the panda is a nasty animal.

Happiness is a carnival game. It's never as easy as it looks, but the dumb ones always seem to be walking around with a big stuffed animal.

It's a wonder you don't see the zebra being trotted out as a metaphor for racial harmony more often.

Every time I see a happy couple I want to give them a polygraph.

Insecurity is like herpes. It's not going anywhere. May as well learn to laugh at it.

Why is it so many politicians are wealthy?Is it because they make good investments?Or is it simply.Because they are good investments?

It's always funny to me when people meet me. They really think I'm from the East coast off top. When they get to talkin' to me, they go "Oh no, she's sooooo Southern"

I bought a house, and I've been decorating it

Make your judgment trustworthy by trusting it

That saint who advances on his knees never retreats.

Obviously there will be a backlash. If you believe the hype you have to believe a backlash too. Any criticism we get, is always stuff we've already criticized ourselves.

Early numbers are always wrong.

Humanity is regarded as unfinished, incomplete, imperfect. We have the possibility of completing ourselves, perfecting ourselves, and all that is necessary for this lies in us.

I want to say categorically that all the vouchers that I have myself used were paid for, and I know nothing about any others that may have been abused.

I pardon him, as God shall pardon me.