People that were a little nerdy in high school would look up to me and know it gets better.

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III.

As my father used to tell me, the only true sign of success in life is being able to do for a living that which makes you happy.

In heaven there is no beer. That's why we drink ours here.

If money can't buy happiness, then I guess I'll have to rent it.

You got me stranded on the bungee tower of love.

I'm still a geek on the inside, that's the important thing.

At this point I've got a bit of a track record. So people realize that when 'Weird Al' wants to go parody, it's not meant to make them look bad... it's meant to be a tribute.

If you want to avoid heated arguments, never discuss religion, politics, or whether the toilet paper roll should go over or under.

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”

Nows the time to go for all the gusto you can grab. You'll have plenty of time to be low-key when you're laid out on the slab.

Learning is the way to keep your mind flowing, and hence your life flowing

And the poem, I think, is only your voice speaking.

i finally got t this place were it feel right were i knew i belong were i didn't give crap maybe is not the right place but i feel save

Failure is not in losing but in no longer believing that winning is worthwhile.

We are all motivated by a keen desire for praise and the better a man is the more he is inspired by glory.

Private sincerity is a public welfare.

No one of us is less treasured or cherished of God than another. I testify that he loves each of us--insecuritie s, anxieties, self-image, and all.

I have a very big family and a lot of friends, and buying presents is one of my favorite things to do.

Before 'Mad Men,' I definitely had very dry spells and I know what those feel like, and I don't think that ever leaves you as an actor.