[People] want to feel superior, so they imagine we're Bible thumpers and uneducated and all that.

True terror is to wake up one morning and discover that your high school class is running the country.

We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be.

There is a tragic flaw in our precious constitution, and I don't know what can be done to fix it. This is it: Only nut cases want to be president.

I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all the kinds of things you can't see from the center.

He didn't look like a soldier at all. He looked like a filthy flamingo.

Any reviewer who expresses rage and loathing for a novel is preposterous. He or she is like a person who has put on full armor and attacked a hot fudge sundae.

Perhaps I am the turtle, able to live simply anywhere, even underwater for short periods, with my home on my back.

About astrology and palmistry: they are good because they make people vivid and full of possibilities. They are communism at its best. Everybody has a birthday and almost everybody has a palm.

We are here on Earth to fart around. Don't let anybody tell you any different.

Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. Don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own.

When you draw something it lives and when you photograph it it dies

I trust everyone. I just don’t trust the devil inside them.

The lake of fire awaits my lady

Acting is like music and you improvise. It's like jazz, there's no rhyme or reason to it. It's not a plan. You practice to music and you just play it.

Thus, if the clarity of our thoughts comes through better in a play of words, then the wordplay is good. One must know how to enter the ideas of others and how to leave them.

Whats more important than recipes is how we think about food, and a good cookbook should open up a new way of doing just that.

I'm sure you get the best out of people if you look for the best in them. People don't need to be told when they've done something wrong - they know it without having to be told.

Stand-up is mine. It's a part of me.

You can never have enough nerds, freaks, and weirdos. You know what I'm sayin'?

Listen to what people say when they are mad, that's when the truth comes out.