People want to say there isn't racial profiling at the airport, but let's be honest. If you first name is Mohammed, and your last name isn't Ali, leave a little extra time.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

With love, you can see the stars.

Some have called Afghanistan 'the graveyard of empires,' and it probably is the graveyard of empires.

There's a fine line between thinking about somebody and thinking about not thinking about somebody, but I have the patience and the self-control to walk that line for hours - days, if I have to.

I believe Lee Harvey Oswald did not kill John Kennedy. I believe that.

The state of perpetual emptiness is, of course, very good for business.

Fiction that responds to recent world events is a hostage to fortune because all momentous events look very different a year, two years, three years later.

I'm really grateful for how my career has unfolded.

The mind approves and the body consents.

I listen to a lot of really old western and country music. Theres a lot of cool stuff in there all the heartbreak of the country darkness.

But alas, if I have not maintained my victory, it is God's fault for not making man and the devil of equal strength.