People will kill you over time, and how they'll kill you is with tiny, harmless phrases, like 'be realistic.'

Money can't buy you love, but it can get you some really good chocolate ginger biscuits.

Black Books adheres to a more old fashioned, traditional sitcom format, which I think works, because in its own way, it's quite theatrical.

You’re not an adult at all - you're just a tall child holding a beer, having conversations you don't understand...

Don't do it! Stay away from your potential. You'll mess it up, it's potential, leave it. Anyway, it's like your bank balance - you always have a lot less than you think.

I'm quite a compulsive person-I only worked this out recently - I'm compulsive, but I'm also very indecisive. I don't know what I want, but I know that I want it now.

Oh how I hate you. I hate you so much it gives me energy. I have to get up early in the morning just to hate you, because there's not enough time in the day! Please GO AWAY!

I don't do drugs. If I want a rush I just stand up when I'm not expecting it.

I think you should, yeah. You should wash your beard, then shave it off, nail it to a Frisbee and fling it over a rainbow.

You try various things when you're growing up. I was an attache in the Foreign Service for a while and then I drove a bulldozer, but neither of those panned out for me so it had to be stand-up.

I think a lot of the time you just parody yourself.

It wilna end wi' me, Campbell. Slay me, and you'll face my brothers and after them my Muhheconneok kin. You cannae possibly kill us all.

Need for immortality should be added on top of Maslow's hierarchy of needs.

There is no such thing as justice in the abstract it is merely a compact between men.

The more control you have over your life, the more responsible you feel for your own success - or failure.

It came without ribbions, It cames without tags, It came without packages, boxes, or bags. Christmas can't be bought from a store. Maybe Christmas means a little bit more.

The best thing about graduating from the university was that I finally had time to sit on a log and read a good book.

If youre serious about what youre doing, youve got to keep your head and follow your instinct. Maybe you wont reach the same dizzy heights as others, but you will get something back.

I got to work with one of my heroes, Johnny Depp, and to see how he goes about business, which was really inspiring for me at this stage in my career.

My father used to say that, through culture, humans effectively domesticated themselves.

Happinessis a byproduct of function. Those who seek happiness for itself seek victory without war.