Percy looked at his friends. “I’m getting tired of this guy’s shirt.

Delaying death is one of my favorite hobbies

Behold!" Percy shouted. "The god's chosen beverage. Tremble before the horror of Diet Coke!

We’ve all got weaknesses. Me, for instance. I’m tragically funny and good-looking.

Mussolini?” Leo frowned. “Wasn’t he like BFFs with Hitler?

Percy is the most powerful demigod I've ever met. No offense to you guys but it's true.

Sometimes wisdom came from strange places, even from giant teenaged goldfish.

Scrawny? Baby, I invented scrawny. Scrawny is the new sizzling hot.

Forget the chicken-nugget smoke screen. Percy wanted Leo to invent an anti-dream hat.

Otis barreled towards them empty-handed, before apparently realizing that a) he was empty-handed and b) charging towards a large body of water to fight a son of Poseidon was maybe not a good idea.

Fighting giants was one thing. Bacchus making into a game was something else.

Abundance is not defined by possessions, but it is defined by inner perceptions.

To trust someone is to take the greatest risk of all. (180)

Next minute you’ll be telling me there’s nothing wrong, ’ he said softly. ‘One of the all time favourite lies women employ when they’re hiding huge grievances.

I don't think about relatability (when writing), I think about the heart of the character.

The U.S. Senate - an old scow which doesn't move very fast, but never sinks.

Art arises from the interaction of the mind and the heart.

It is hard to find something where you can go off as much as I do in stand-up, but I think stand-up allows me that freedom where you can really go off and have a good time.

Don't let the door hitcha where the good Lord splitcha.

Every religion is good that teaches man to be good; and I know of none that instructs him to be bad.

For the first time in human history the psychology that is a prerequisite for intimacy has become the psychology that is a prerequisite for species survival.