Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

A sense of humor is good for you. Have you ever heard of a laughing hyena with heart burn?

No one party can fool all of the people all of the time; that's why we have two parties

I always like to go to Washington D.C. It gives me a chance to visit my money.

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?

I have seen what a laugh can do. It can transform almost unbearable tears into something bearable, even hopeful.

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

The good news is that Jesus is coming back. The bad news is that he's really pissed off.

The trees in Siberia are miles apart, that is why the dogs are so fast.

I don't do a lot of political jokes. Too many are getting elected.

I wonder how they convince their conscience believing in myths and fallacious stories.

As one retiring chief executive said to his successor "Yesterday was the last day you heard the truth from your subordinates."

The only power you have is the word no.

To practice Dhamma means to observe and examine oneself.

Guys who do a lot of running and jumping around cannot get themselves set to throw a hard punch.

I never wanted to be an author or thought I could be.

They say: 'If a man knew himself, he would know all mankind.' I say: 'If a man loved mankind, he would know something of himself.

But if you deem them worthy, people deserve a second chance.

We all think that this relationship thing is a game out here. All I'm saying to women is, "Okay. If it's a game, here are the rules that we play by".

I live on a one-way street that's also a dead end. I'm not sure how I got there.