Personally, I would sooner have written Alice in Wonderland than the whole Encyclopedia Britannica.

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl.

The landlady of a boarding-house is a parallelogram - that is, an oblong angular figure, which cannot be described, but which is equal to anything

Now, the essence, the very spirit of Christmas is that we first make believe a thing is so, and lo, it presently turns out to be so.

It may be those who do most, dream most.

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it.

A half truth, like half a brick, is always more forcible as an argument than a whole one. It carries better.

Advertising: the science of arresting the human intelligence long enough to get money from it.

There are two things in ordinary conversation which ordinary people dislike - information and wit

I detest life-insurance agents: they always argue that I shall some day die, which is not so.

It takes a good deal of physical courage to ride a horse. This, however, I have. I get it at about forty cents a flask, and take it as required.

Screw the right thing to do. What do you want to do?

... it is strange to know you would be cast off by the people who greet you so warmly, if they knew the whole truth about you.

If you have no will to change it you have no right to criticize it.

It's a depleted - we have a very depleted military.

I am rarely happier than when spending an entire day programming my computer.

I am only one man with one heart...Call me a demon, call me a monster...but I can't be the strongest forever...!!! — Whitebeard's response to his status as the "Strongest Man in the World".

Facebook has revealed their estimated net worth - $96 billion. That's almost as much money as businesses lose every year from their employees wasting time looking at Facebook.

If you think black people have a motivation problem, open up a Wal-Mart and advertise a thousand jobs. Watch 5,000 people show up.

A dead tree, falling, made less havoc than a live one. It seemed as though a live tree went down fighting, like an animal.

The exact objectives of Islam Inc. are obscure. Needless to say everyone involved has a different angle, and they all intend to cross each other up somewhere along the line.