Plain spoken people get most of the recognition because folks are afraid of them.

Of all the home remedies, a good wife is best.

Next to a circus there ain't nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit.

Nobody can be as agreeable as an uninvited guest.

The fellow that owns his own home is always just coming out of a hardware store.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Nobody ever forgets where he buried the hatchet.

If you haven't seen your wife smile at a traffic cop, you haven't seen her smile her prettiest.

The fellow that agrees with everything you say is either a fool or he is getting ready to skin you.

The hardest thing is to take less when you can get more.

It is pretty hard to tell what does bring happiness; poverty and wealth have both failed.

Life is a sacred journey.

One minute can decide the outcome of the battle, one hour - the outcome of the campaign, and one day - the fate of the country.

The thing is, I hate political comedy. I personally loathe it.

Learn to control ego. Humans hold their dogmas and biases too tightly, and we only think that our opponents are dogmatic! But we all need criticism. Criticism is the only known antidote to error.

The years after the millennium will see gathering conflict all over the world to the point where the United Nations will be overwhelmed.

The older I get, the more I lose my ability to breathe.

Following rulers instead of prophets, the wicked can rule you, but the knowledge can stop it.

I get so lonely sometimes, I could put a box on my head and mail myself to a stranger.

Glory is a shroud that posterity often tears from the shoulders of those who wore it when living.

I've realised that when I don't play people who are complex I get very, very bored, and then lazy, and end up being rubbish.