Playing Xbox for 23 hours straight is cool and all, but I'm going to teach you how to spend time on things in your life that will get you the following two things: paid and laid.

We're not in an information age anymore. We're in the information management age.

Nerds get caught up in minutiae, because there is a tremendous and fulfilling sense of control in understanding every single detail of a thing more than any other living creature.

Bowling is all physics and energy distribution. It's F = ma. So it is actually one of the most science-y sports, because it literally is just a ball and a surface and objects to knock down.

When you hang around a lot of comedians long enough, you realize there's a certain gene, in every comedian. It's why we get hyper-analytical about things.

I do seem like the kind of guy who'd be obsessive about Rubik's Cubes.

No matter what tricks you use or what decisions you make, go easy on yourself as someone who's on a never-ending quest for improvement.

Steal moments of happiness if you have to, and then collect them until they are the dominant images in your psyche.

I almost think of nerd brains as rattlesnake venom; like, you can milk it. You can milk the pulpy venom out of the nerd brain and use it for good if you want to.

Humans cannot produce viable offspring with our closest animal cousin: the chimpanzee. We cannot impregnate a chimp. So you know what that means? No condoms.

I've gone from being bullied by jocks as a kid to being bullied by nerds as an adult.

In dreams begin responsibilities

If this planet is to be transformed for the better, then we as individuals must first transform ourselves.

I'm exhausted from not talking.

To abstract is to draw out the essence of a matter.

I think that's part of the creative process to disagree about certain ideas. But we also agree just as much as we disagree, in the band, I would say.

I am dying by inches, from not having any body to talk to about insects.

Study how a society uses its land, and you can come to pretty reliable conclusions as to what its future will be.

If I programmed my own TV network, it would air good news! Just positive stories. Heroic stories. Cute puppy dogs doin' stuff.

It is no longer a choice between violence and nonviolence in this world; it's nonviolence or nonexistence. That is where we are today.

Punk is just as much a form of folk music as anything is!