Please don't refer to me as "channeling Mark Twain." I'm an actor. Not a channeler. That word is an iPhone shortcut. Acting is more eloquent than that.

I got a feeling about political correctness. I hate it. It causes us to lie silently instead of saying what we think.

Man looks in the abyss, there's nothing staring back at him. At that moment, man finds his character. And that is what keeps him out of the abyss.

I've had a very full career in the theater, on stage, in films and on television.

Death ends a life. But it doesn't end a relationship.

The main thing about money, Bud, is that it makes you do things you don't want to do.

There was so much to learn and it was all fun. But the best part was getting a laugh from an audience. That was like drowning in candy.

I developed a resistance to authority. Not to discipline - I learned that. But to authority. I like to think for myself. And I like to cause trouble.

You can go into Mark Twain's material and prove anything you want. He was against war. He was for war. He was against rich people and he was for them. He was a kaleidoscope

One of the problems with putting Huck Finn into a movie or on the stage is, you always make the white people stupid and racist. The point is, they don't know they're racist.

[Mark] Twain called Congress "the only distinctly native criminal class in America. We've lately sent a United States Senator to the penitentiary." That was a fact.

I should have looked into my own heart, and found this new growth springing up there, and plucked it out while it was young.

An idiot child screaming in a hospital." (on George Bernard Shaw)

When teenagers aren’t turning like weathervanes in a high wind, they’re as stiff as Puritans.

Nothing is so burdensome as a secret.

Being a vegan is pretty easy these days, as almost every town and city has health food stores and vegetarian-friendly restaurants.

Once you became associated with a children's show, you're finished.

They assembled from all sides, one after another, with arms and horses and all the panoply of war.

Good-humor is always a success.

If there's something in your life that you know needs changing, make sure you change it before God's got to change it. Because if God's got to change it, you ain't going to like it.

He saw a lawyer killing a viper on a dunghill hard by his own stable; And the Devil smiled, for it put him in mind of Cain and his brother Abel.