Policeman: "A hermit eh? Then why's your table set for four?" Groucho: "That's nothing. My alarm clock is set for eight.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.

If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you.

Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly and applying the wrong remedies.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his wife.

Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.

Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.

[He] may talk like an idiot, and look like an idiot, but don't let that fool you: he really is an idiot.

Strength is Life, Weakness is Death.Expansion is Life, Contraction is Death.Love is Life, Hatred is Death.

No matter how strong you are, there is always another power which can defeat you easily!

My journey defines me

Poetry cannot be explained, it must be lived.

I like to stay fit by being generally active.

When it comes to bullying small businesses, Donald Trump is the poster boy.

Look at each day as a chance to invest life into life. A chance to share your experience and deposit it into someone else's conscience. Each day is a chance to work miracles in the lives of others.

I've sacrificed lots of aspects of my personal life to do what I do.

A weapon is a device for making your enemy change his mind.