Political Correctness is inverted McCarthyism.

Here in Hollywood you can actually get a marriage license printed on an Etch-A-Sketch.

The radical right is so homophobic that they're blaming global warming on the AIDS quilt.

Washington, DC is to lying what Wisconsin is to cheese.

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's the worst thing that could happen? If everything went wrong, maybe you'd get a pulse.

We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.

You've got bad eating habits if you use a grocery cart in 7-Eleven.

Maybe democrats will eventually turn on Obamacare when they realize you might need a photo I.D. to participate in the program.

Xenophobia doesn't benefit anybody unless you're playing high-stakes Scrabble.

There is a chalk outline slowly being drawn around common sense and most people can't identify the victim.

It's foolish to be prejudiced. There are so many reasons to hate people on an individual basis.

Without failure, there is no success.

I knew the end would come, one day. I knew my life deserved to be over. Yet, even knowing that, I was no less fearful.

You are not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.

The Internet is the crime scene of the 21st Century.

In politics almost all of us are nerds, so that's just a given... but we're cool nerds.

Deaf? If you're near there, no wonder you are deaf.

Normally, as long as I'm telling him what to do, he wins in a fight.

I find a lot of young filmmakers make too much of an effort to be trendy and they can be pretentious.

I am what everyone always thought. A killer.

Life is worth Living Through every grain of it, From the foundations To the last edge Of the cornerstone, death.