Political satire became obsolete when Henry Kissinger was awarded the Nobel peace prize.

Life is like a piano. What you get out of it depends on how you play it.

Once the rockets are up, who cares where they come down ? That's not my department.

I know that there are people who do not love their fellow man, and I hate people like that!

If I can't get people to commit themselves on whether or not there is a square root of two, then I won't touch on God or anything here

I feel that if a person has problems communicating the very least he can do is to shut up.

Political satire became obsolete when they awarded Henry Kissinger the Nobel Peace Prize.

On my income tax 1040 it says 'Check this box if you are blind.' I wanted to put a check mark about three inches away.

It is a sobering thought that when Mozart was my age, he had been dead for two years.

I went from adolescence to senility, trying to bypass maturity.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.

It was like Elvis came along and whispered some dream in everybody's ear

In all of history, we have found just one cure for error—a partial antidote against making and repeating grand, foolish mistakes, a remedy against self-deception. That antidote is criticism.

One only needs to read twentieth-century history to see that it has been the climax of human madness, if it's measured in terms of human violence inflicted on other humans.

A shoe that is too large is apt to trip one, and when too small, to pinch the feet. So it is with those whose fortune does not suit them.

Acting kind of chose me.

Judges were not the biggest issue for most voters in Georgia in 2002.

I love when things are transparent, free and clear of all inhibition and judgement.

Just like a picture is worth 1000 words, a camera phone is worth 1000 cell phones!

With a cheery delicacy she divided my obsessions into three categories: acceptable, unacceptable, and hilarious.