Politics, as hopeful men practise it in the world, consists mainly of the delusion that a change in form is a change in substance.

Love is like war: easy to begin but very hard to stop.

On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last, and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.

The demagogue is one who preaches doctrines he knows to be untrue to men he knows to be idiots.

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary.

Morality is doing what is right, no matter what you are told. Religion is doing what you are told, no matter what is right.

Every normal man must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hands, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats.

Democracy is a pathetic belief in the collective wisdom of individual ignorance.

The urge to save humanity is almost always a false front for the urge to rule.

It is inaccurate to say that I hate everything. I am strongly in favor of common sense, common honesty, and common decency. This makes me forever ineligible for public office.

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses.

The Supreme Court of the United States is no longer a court of law. It is a forum of legal fad and fashion.

Most people are idiots

A small degree of wit, accompanied by good sense, is less tiresome in the long run than a great amount of wit without it.

We shall not become like Christ until we give Him more time.

Education is both a tool of social justice as well as a fundamental driver of economic development.

When I find material that gives me a natural yet unique character point of view and has well - developed characters throughout the script, it makes the hairs on my arm stand up.

I believe in myself over everyone else. There's nothing that walks on two legs that I'm afraid of.

It doesn’t matter what you say you believe - it only matters what you do.

Gray hats are the ones who think they're doing good, but they're not. You learn that when the FBI shows up on your doorstep.

Look, are you just fiddling around with me or what?" "I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people o die embarrassed.