Politics is the business of getting power and privilege without possessing merit

Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.

There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL convertible.

Mercedes Benz : A mechanical device that increases sexual arousal in women.

Tabasco sauce is to bachelor cooking what forgiveness is to sin.

A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.

At the core of liberalism is the spoiled child — miserable, as all spoiled children are, unsatisfied, demanding, ill-disciplined, despotic and useless. Liberalism is a philosophy of sniveling brats.

There's a whiff of the lynch mob or the lemming migration about any overlarge concentration of like-thinking individuals, no matter how virtuous their cause.

Even very young children need to be informed about dying. Explain the concept of death very carefully to your child. This will make threatening him with it much more effective.

Watching Republicans in Washington is like watching lemmings, if lemmings jumped into cesspools instead of off cliffs. Splash! There goes Mark Foley!

Authority has always attracted the lowest elements in the human race

The way to screw up somebody's life is to give them what they want.

The goal in life is not to try and live forever, but to create something that will forever live in people’s hearts.

Nothing has been purchased more dearly than the little bit of reason and sense of freedom which now constitutes our pride.

Young children have no sense of wonder. They bewilder well, but few things surprise them. All of it is new to young children, after all, and equally gratuitous.

I was doing my best Bogart, but I was having trouble getting into her jeans.

Life is adventure, not predicament.

But I just went to work and imagined that I had on the most beautiful pale blue silk dress - because when you are imagining you might as well imagine something worth while.

I have heard that whoever loves is in no condition old.

John Lithgow was absolutely wonderful in 'Dexter,' there's no doubt about it.

We've lost our moral foundation, which allows us to go this far over. So I don't blame Trump. I just think he is what he is. We're the ones who let that happen. We should be looking at ourselves.