Ponder, your comedies are woeful chaff: Write tragedies, when you would make us laugh.

I never found even in my juvenile hours that it was necessary to go a thousand miles in search of themes for moralizing.

The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well.

In all science, error precedes the truth, and it is better it should go first than last.

Life is a comedy for those who think and a tragedy for those who feel.

The Methodists love your big sinners, as proper subjects to work upon.

This world is a comedy to those that think, a tragedy to those that feel.

Nine-tenths of the people were created so you would want to be with the other tenth.

Who has begun has half done. Have the courage to be wise. Begin!

Foolish writers and readers are created for each other.

When people will not weed their own minds, they are apt to be overrun by nettles.

There is nothing more admirable than when two people who see eye to eye keep house as man and wife, confounding their enemies and delighting their friends.

This isn't champagne anymore. We went through the champagne a long time ago. This is serious stuff. The days of champagne are long gone.

A pessimist is a man who tells the truth prematurely.

Be good on terms with everyone but only keep a few close.

Be courteous to all but intimate with few and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.

My parents had a great marriage. Interestingly, it made it harder for me in relationships because I knew what a good relationship looked like.

This is so weird. I saw the new John Kerry campaign commercial and he says, 'I'm John Kerry and I approve of this message - if I have one.'

If I do not return to the pulpit this weekend, millions of people will go to hell.

Even though I'm a pop singer, I really have more the life of a country singer.

Your business clothes are naturally attracted to staining liquids. This attraction is strongest just before an important meeting.