Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.

Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.

The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.

War is God's way of teaching Americans geography.

In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.

Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.

Admiral. That part of a warship which does the talking while the figurehead does the thinking.

Spring beckons! All things to the call respond; the trees are leaving and cashiers abscond.

NEPOTISM, n. Appointing your grandmother to office for the good of the party.

Divorce: a resumption of diplomatic relations and rectification of boundaries.

Clairvoyant, n.: A person, commonly a woman, who has the power of seeing that which is invisible to her patron - namely, that he is a blockhead.

You can't push me away, mio cuore. You can't!

The people on this planet who end up doing nothing are those who never realize they can't do everything.

Racism and religious bigotry are two essential pieces of baggage mankind carries as it moves from one century to the next.

Show me the condition of your Bible and I will accurately gauge the condition of your soul.

I've never seen the Osbournes, I've never seen Paris Hilton. I'd rather read than watch reality TV. I'd rather live life than watch somebody else living it.

Water is the most purifying element. It's always involved in baptisms, healings, that kind of work.

It's all emotion. But there's nothing wrong with emotion. When we are in love, we are not rational; we are emotional. When we are on vacation, we are not rational; we are emotional.

The mists remain of the false glory that erupts from history.

Who wakes up when they're worth £120million and says, 'I'm unhappy today but if only I had an extra £2million!'

When somebody has convinced you that you're not worth anything to anybody anymore, and they spend a lot of time doing it, you start believing it yourself.