Poverty is not the root cause of crime.

If Thomas Jefferson thought taxation without representation was bad, he should see how it is with representation.

Liberals attempt through judicial activism what they cannot win at the ballot box.

We're not sexists, we're chauvinists - we're male chauvinist pigs, and we're happy to be because we think that's what men were destined to be. We think that's what women want.

End results that work that don’t involve government threaten liberals.

You know why there's a Second Amendment? In case the government fails to follow the first one.

Styrofoam and plastic milk jugs are biodegradable! Do you know what isn't biodegradable? Paper!

I think cigars are just a tremendous addition to the enjoyment of life.

The NAACP should have riot rehearsal. They should get a liquor store and practice robberies.

In a country of children where the option is Santa Claus or work, what wins?

Ladies, if you want a happy marriage, then do whatever your husband tells you without questioning his authority.

By the time I am Howard's age I hope to be long retired. I don't plan on working that long.

I still like my antique clothes.

Happiness is working with Jack Lemmon.

It's interesting, gender versus race. I think people say that to women more: 'Oh, you're my favorite female.' They wouldn't say 'favorite black comic.'

If I were an animal, I would be an eagle.

Since I was a kid, I've been a dancer, and, of course, I'll always be a dancer till the day I die.

Some people try to be tall by cutting off the heads of others.

Don't 'discover' a subject of any kind.

Eight months later, having left Columbia, I was studying physics in a summer program and working in Colorado when I decided to enroll as a graduate student in biophysics.

Presumably man's spirit should be elevated if he can better review his shady past and analyze more completely and objectively his present problems.