President Obama has begun a three-state bus tour. I believe the three states are: Confusion, Delusion, and Desperation.

According to a new survey, 90% of men say their lover is also their best friend. Which is really kind of disturbing when you consider man's best friend is his dog.

Here's something to think about: How come you never see a headline like 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.

Today is Valentine's Day - or, as men like to call it, Extortion Day!

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh.

Politics is just show business for ugly people.

CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America. Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it.

I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'

Bush reiterated his stand to conservatives opposing his decision on stem cell research. He said today he believes life begins at conception and ends at execution.

Magic Johnson, former basketball player, may run for mayor of L.A. in the next election. Remember the good 'ol days when only qualified people ran for office like actors and professional wrestlers.

You don't understand the things I do, but I do have my reasons. They're not your reasons, so they're not real to you, but they're real to me, and that's enough.

Awakening is to become aware of your awareness.Be in the awareness of your presence, rather than being in the now.

Understanding physics is child's play when compared to understanding child's play.

I don't think anybody comes close to The Beatles, including Oasis

Everybody came. Everybody came to the Cotton Club.

They kind of look like evil lawn gnomes

I've only got a Saturday job so my weekdays are generally pretty free.

Hold up your head! You were not made for failure, you were made for victory. Go forward with a joyful confidence.

Everything changes permantly. How boring if it wouldn't.