President Obama is going to take two weeks to unwind, as opposed to President Bush, who never wound.

Next in importance to having a good aim is to recognize when to pull the trigger.

They say there are about 12 million illegal immigrants in this country. But if you ask a Native American, that number is more like 300 million.

Are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?

I feel like Bush presidencies are like "Godfather" films. You should stop at two.

I was Christmas shopping and ran into a guy on the street. I noticed his watch and said that it runs slow. He said, "So does the guy I stole it from."

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does this guy wind?

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know? some of these jokes just write themselves.

Way too much coffee. But if it weren't for the coffee, I'd have no identifiable personality whatsoever.

Somebody threw a book at President Obama. If you're trying to scare a president by throwing a book at him, you're one president too late.

Memory is more indelible than ink.

My theory was that what I had to do was make a study of human behavior.

He who thinks with difficulty believes with alacrity.

Talent is nothing but a prolonged period of attention and a shortened period of mental assimilation.

It was a brutal picture, a tug-of-war between two equal but opposing impulses. It had the ring of truth, however.

What Flaubert refers to as the “mélancholies du voyage” is like the sadness I feel as one season departs and another arrives.

The longer I live, the more my mind dwells upon the beauty and the wonder of the world.

I think the people who work with me are people who love style themselves. I'm leaving the office and they're still working. They're passionate.

Even as a young boy, my passion was to design, and I have been very lucky to be able to do what I have loved all my life. There can be few greater gifts than that.