Probably the best explanation for my success and other Internet writers, is that we're tapping a genre or a niche out there that needs to be filled and isn't.

I am Shiva, Destroyer of Worlds.

The devil doesn't come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything you've ever wished for.

You show me a truly funny girl who doesn't have emotional issues, and I'll introduce you to my stable of unicorn thoroughbreds ridden by leprechaun jockeys.

Men will treat you the way you let them. There is no such thing as 'deserving' respect; you get what you demand from people.

The great stories go to those who aren't afraid to live them

You ever wake up in the middle of the night because a couple of cats are clawing each other to death outside your window? That's what it's like listening to you speak.

I will never understand why people get so upset at things I don't even remember saying.

I laugh at people who say things like 'I'm a good person, I just do bad things.' No, that's not how it works. What you do IS who you are.

The hardest lesson I've had to learn in my life is that my intelligence is inversely correlated to my humility. The more I thought I knew, the less I actually knew.

The narcissist act is not an act. I actually am a narcissist, very much so. My world revolves around me.

Come forth into the light of things, let nature be your teacher.

A lot of people think I'm that guy in 'Betsy's Wedding', but I'm not. What it is for me is that, on some level, I connect with the character emotionally.

On the field I defend our colours, love our flag and sing our anthem. I could not be more Italian than I am now.

We've all of us got to meet the devil alone. Temptation is a lonely business.

There is a plague on Man, the opinion that he knows something.

The only way to win happiness is to give it. The more we give, the more we have.

School textbooks have almost completely excised any reference to America's true religious heritage.

There is no point in starting your own business unless you do it out of a sense of frustration.

Every film is exciting because I get new tools and cool new things to do.

I'm running for Governor, and this Honey Badger is ready to fight.