Probably the most distinctive characteristic of the successful politician is selective cowardice.

I often sit back and think, I wish I'd done that, and find out later that I already have.

Ghosts, like ladies, never speak till spoke to.

I formed a new group called Alcoholics-Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.

I swim in a pool of my own neurosis. I carry love, grief deeply, like an Irishman.

I don't drink because I have problems or I want to escape. I just love drinking and being drunk.

LOL has turned into something you type when you have nothing better to add into a conversation.

When a man sees his end, he wants to know there was some purpose to his life.

I turned Hamlet down because it was going to take up too much of my drinking time.

There was a dream that was Rome. You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish, it was so fragile.

Knight without fear and without reproach.

Everything considered work is less boring than amusing oneself.

To live is like to love: all reason is against it and all healthy instinct is for it.

Your brain has more than 100 billion cells, each connected to at least 20,000 other cells. The possible combinations are greater than the number of molecules in the known universe.

I was very productive as a senator for my state.

Don’t major on the fall, major on getting up!

There are a lot of things that frustrate me. I get frustrated when I have to wait at a red light.

Never let too much criticism or too much praise get in your way.

[On John Cleese:] He sometimes seems to swat at his own thoughts as if they were bees.

The real aim of music is to co-ordinate the minds of the people into an intelligent reach for a better world and an intelligent approach to the living future.

True friends, like ivy and the wall Both stand together, and together fall.