Probably the most memorable even of my life is when I was born. It really made me who I am. If I die, I hope to go out the same way I came in, but I don't think my mother would be into that.

I was mad when I heard The Amazing Race wasn't about white people.

I was kosher until I had my Bar Mitzvah, and I parlayed officially becoming a man into telling my father I wanted to eat cheeseburgers.

I once fisted two babies and then used the corpses as boxing gloves to fight off the grieving parents.

It's all about being a part of something in the community, socializing with people who share interests and coming together to help improve the world we live in.

In New York, we tip everyone. We tip doormen, we tip cab drivers, and we tip bartenders at the bar. You'll get quite an evil eye if you don't leave a tip at the bar.

I like hot dogs. I like eggplant. I like pizza and creamed corn and beer. But I don't like Arabs.

The best way to travel abroad is to live with the locals.

I don't mind it if blacks want equal rights, as long as they mean rights equal to a dog

It turns out Superman is weak to Kryptonite and horses.

Women have the right to choose what do with their own bodies. They can take it in the cooch or in the pooper. But that's where their right to choose stops, in my opinion.

The truly Christian imagination never lets Jesus Christ out of her sight.

I am many things. Stupid is not one of them. Your wrath is impressive for a mortal.

If there is any pressure to sell yourself cheap in order to be accepted, you truly don't belong there.

Being a husband or a wife, is already a huge responsibility to shoulder, without adding in the expectations.

What I leave behind has a life of its own.

There is this thing called the GPL (Gnu Public Licence), which we disagree with... nobody can ever improve the software.

Writing is a subtle art that is reached mostly by self-discovery and experimentation.

Some women are meant to change the world while others are meant to hold it together.

The poem is a confession of faith.

Armies under the control of ... a sovereign State cannot bring freedom to anyone.