Producing satire is kind of hopeless because of the literacy rate of the American public.

A mind is like a parachute. It doesn't work if it is not open.

The universe consists of 5% protons, 5% neutrons, 5% electrons and 85% morons.

There are only two things to remember. Number one...Don't Stop, and number two...Keep Going!

The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life.

Power will be maintained by the groovy guy or gal who gets the most media coverage for his sleaze. Naturally, his friends in various businesses will do okay, too.

Republicans stand for raw, unbridled evil and greed and ignorance smothered in balloons and ribbons.

Without deviation from the norm, progress is not possible.

Republican is fine, if your a millionaire. Democrats is fair, if all you own is what you wear. Neither of them's really right, cause neither of them care.

It gets harder the more you know. Because the more you find out the uglier everything seems.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

What do you believe about who you are? About your capabilities? When was the last time you trusted yourself enough to test them?

That was when the ones who smiled Were the dead, glad to be at rest.

Working together always works together better... it also appeals to a primal, animal thing, which is that humans are social creatures.

Everyone has a bowling story. I love bowling because you can do it at age 2 - my son started when he learned to walk - or you can bowl at 102. It's great for families.

If you gave wings to a cat, it would not condescend to be a bird. It would be an angel.

Only those who have lived all their lives under the dark clouds of vague, undefined fears can appreciate the joy of a doubting soul suddenly born into the kingdom of reason and free thought.

And I've been walking 'round with memories way too long.

Florida was a living tomb, she used to tell anyone who'd listen, an old-age home in the shape of a state, God's little waiting room, as she was fond of quoting.

Gene sometimes... well, he has his dream list.

Most Americans want judges who will stick to interpreting the law rather than making it.