Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents' shortcomings.

Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it.

Equal opportunity means everyone will have a fair chance at being incompetent.

Competence, like truth, beauty, and contact lenses, is in the eye of the beholder.

Don't believe in miracles - depend on them.

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

Every girl should use what Mother Nature gave her before Father Time takes it away.

When in doubt or danger, run in circles, scream and shout.

A man doesn't know what he knows until he knows what he doesn't know.

There are two kinds of failures: those who thought and never did, and those who did and never thought

Some problems are so complex that you have to be highly intelligent and well informed just to be undecided about them.

The greatest weariness comes from work not done.

I am a planter - a cotton planter. I am a Southern man and a slaveholder - a kind and a merciful one, I trust - and none the worse for being a slaveholder.

It's incredible that they censor films. It's sad.

Each of us is equally valued in the eyes of the Lord.

Slow down. The party won't start until I get there - Jo, Remember me. Page 43.

Eight Hours For What We Will is a major contribution to modern American working-class history and to the history of a changing American popular and mass culture.

We're gonna get weaker. That's already happened. They used to say, you know, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. Now they're saying eat five fruits. That's evidence. You can't argue with that.

I like to go to the clubs. As long as the environment permits, and it's not too knuckleheadish, I'm there, I go to the club. Because that's where you get inspiration from.

One little lie or dishonest act leads to another until the perpetrator is caught in the web of deceit.

A philosopher is a man who can look at an empty glass with a smile.