Publishing a book is like stuffing a note into a bottle and hurling it into the sea.

But nothing is more opaque than absolute transparency.

I hope that people will finally come to realize that there is only one 'race' - the human race - and that we are all members of it.

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

Canada was built on dead beavers.

A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there's less of you.

We still think of a powerful man as a born leader and a powerful woman as an anomaly.

You can only be jealous of someone who has something you think you ought to have yourself.

Nature is to zoos as God is to churches.

If the national mental illness of the United States is megalomania, that of Canada is paranoid schizophrenia.

Another belief of mine; that everyone else my age is an adult, whereas I am merely in disguise.

If you want to achieve anything you must first see the result in your own mind before it will become a reality.

There are those that want "freedom" from individual responsibility. Then there are those that want individual "liberty." I choose the latter. I am a Libertarian

It is a dangerous trap to believe that our search is over because we have gained all the riches we are going to have.

As society changes, as politics change, as people change, certain songs still seem to resonate.

If there is any country on earth where the course of true love may be expected to run smooth, it is America.

I don't want to pursue someone at all - I want someone to pursue me.

I'm a Yente and I have a terrible accent.

The faith which you keep must be a faith that demands obedience, and you can keep it only by obeying it.

Social media does not change your culture, it reveals it.

I mean, I guess I started during the comedy boom, so it was literally like, on Sunday you could decide you wanted to be a comic, and on Monday, you could be on stage