Pure joy is rare. That’s why for every meal I eat a really bloody steak.

Alphabet: a symbolic system used in algebra, with applications that have yet to be discovered by dyslexics and two thirds of college graduates.

The idealist hopes. The romantic sees doom. The postmodernist sees doom and hopes.

The lampshade on my head is for my bright ideas. I won't be able to convey them until Monday, when my curtain gets out of the dry cleaners.

Mom always said I was born to sit in the electric chair, but I'm proving her wrong. I'm going to die on my knees, begging for my life.

I bet there are a lot of women out there who want to sleep with a guy who reads. And being the head of the reading foundation, I’m very well endowed.

I love working with my hands. My writing is rough, my paper bruised with ink stains.

Night clubs are where Americans learn the laws of motion.

Education: learning to find your purpose. Upon finding your purpose: what did I learn?

If all women revealed their age, men would have nothing to hide from each other.

Bike lane: the section of the road that accommodates wide loads and has speed bumps to protect drunk drivers.

You are too important to the bigger picture to just fall off the canvas.

I am empty of everything. I am empty of everything but the thin, frail ghosts in my room.

Revenge is not a positive state of mind or energy to indulge your self in.

Music is what mathematics does on a Saturday night.

I like actors who, when you see them on screen, you sense a person, not just an actor.

All for one, one for all, that is our device.

Without a Coca-Cola life is unthinkable.

Men of thoughts should have nothing to do with action.

Of course, I do not regret the Bond days. I regret that sadly heroes in general are depicted with guns in their hands, and to tell the truth, I have always hated guns and what they represent.

Reduce the stress levels in your life through relaxation techniques like meditation, deep breathing, and exercise. Youll look and feel way better for it.