Purrrrrrrr” Elizabeth kneaded Vlad's pecs. “I hear a Kitty!” Vlad’s eyes sprung open. There was a moment of hurt, of sad. There was no kitty. “You’re teasing me!" — Bats

...causing her eyes to bulge and her tongue to flick from behind her luscious lips, scaring away insects." — Amok 2015

Elizabeth served herself to Vlad upon the Lazy Susan (Susan wasn’t lazy. She was actually dead." — Bats 2015

He sniffed until the long hairs of his mustache had been sucked up into his nose and out of his leafy ears." — Bats 2015

Elizabeth poured the brewskilicious foam over her aforementioned bodalicious huzza-huzzas and Wahwahzoozie." — Bats 2015

Gentle With Them Thar Spurs'—a sequel to 'Riders of the Purple Sau-Sage.' Spurs was the feminist novel of its day…which was Tuesday." —Bats 2015

Do it for the kids! The ones who look up to you — especially when they are pleading for their lives." — Bats 2015

She could feel something unnatural following her every movement as she washed her bountiful Huzza and Wahzoozie" — BATS

...an ambitious array of dishonorable intentions that he intended to wield upon the Countess’s nether regions. — BATS 2015

They’re dogs. Never trust a man. Even when he’s dead. Especially when he’s dead. — Bats 2015

You’re going to show up to a duel, in the street, wearing Come F—k Me Heels?" — Bats 2015

Only me, eh? Is that how you see yourself? Only you is worth a good deal more than you think.

One can build a perfect home, but not live in it.

I'm romantically inclined. No human being on Earth is not attracted to other people. There is no fairy tale that they only have eyes for you. You just choose to act on it or not.

God did not make a mistake when He chose you to bear Christ's name at this hinge of history.

I've grown certain that the root of all fear is that we've been forced to deny who we are.

The causes that govern the heart appear to be wholly alien to the results achieved. Are the forces that moved a desperate criminal the same that fill a martyr with pride, as both mount the scaffold?

If any American really believes that Obamacare is going to control costs, I've got some real estate in Whitewater, Arkansas I'd like to sell them.

Could it not be, that God loves me too deeply, by having people challenge me so that I know I'm not perfect.

The sacrament of marriage is based on a man and woman.

The only book I ever read cover to cover was The Pete Rose Story. I read half of The Lou Gehrig Story and then made a book report on it for four straight years.